After all these years, the Save-the-Planet Movement is stronger than ever: Stop choking the oceans with plastic waste; stop poisoning the soil with chemicals; stop pumping toxic fumes into the atmosphere. We must save the planet. We are killing our planet!

Actually, it is the planet that’s killing us: devastating hurricanes, unsurvivable storm surges, murderous floods, treacherous tsunamis, vicious viruses, a scorching lava flow right across your brand new livingroom floor AND Melania Trump.

And we have the audacity to claim that we can save the planet by collecting plastic bottle caps, the arrogance to believe that our nifty solar battery charger will save the Amazon fortest, the conceit to presume that peeling paper lables off food cans will save the whale?

Meanwhile, the planet doesn’t care what we’re doing. It doesn’t give a flying fudgesicle about the pollution, the overpopulation and the plastic we generate. It is a self-healing organism that considers us, a bipedal bunch of egotistical maniacs, as a fleeting nuisance like any other species that graced the face of the Earth for just a little while …